The Devil Inside Her.

It was a summer night about 4 years ago and me and my brother decided to go swimming at the Rec Center up the street. We come home an hour later to a moment that would change my life forever. Sitting on the couch, making a lantern, swaying back and forth, eyes barely opened, she sits in silence. I go into my room, not making anything of it, thinking "Oh she's just tired." I mind my own business until I decide to go get some water before bed. I walk to the restroom and realize that I was being followed. All of a sudden I hear a BANG a hit to the wall, a knocking over of candles. I look to see her, hand on the wall, hoping that she can catch her balance. She leans away from the wall and continues to walk over towards me.

I can't hold her up, I try with everything I have, but I can't keep her from falling, I can't keep her from mumbling words that I've never heard before. Instead I do the one thing that I never thought I'd have to do. Yell help. That four letter word that you never have to want to yell. Help. I'm hoping that god can hear me, not just my dad. I'm hoping at that very moment that my screaming is called out to someone that can help this devil inside of her.

911 and 30 minutes later, she's carried onto the ambulance and to the hospital.

Mother, something inside of me yearns for you and no matter how hard I try, I will always have a void in my heart from reaching out to you and never being able to hold on to you. Something inside of me will always make me cry for you. Something inside of me will always wish so much more for you than what you have limited yourself to and settled for. Something inside of me will always wish you did not drink the way you did. Something deep inside of me will always love you and hate the alcohol that consumes you.

Fuck you alcohol. FUCK YOU.