Lost.

I've recently began to put less important things first. I don't know why I do it. Maybe I'm scared to approach the important things, or is it because the important things that matter mean change. I'm stubborn, I don't like to do the things that I don't want to do. I don't like being told what to do, or being told how to live my life. Recently I've been standing my ground and making decisions for myself. I used to be the person that "goes with the flow". Many of my friends have told me that. I would do things that wouldn't make me happy, I was always trying to please others.

You cant please others, if you can't please your self first. I'm trying to find happiness. I'm trying to find that 101% satisfication.

I'm happy, I really am. I'm so thankful for the people in my life. For an amazing boyfriend, amazing friends and amazing family, but there's something missing.

Something missing that doesn't involve other people and how they treat me. There's something missing in myself. I've been digging deep into the ground, past the weeds and the flowers and the seeds. I've been searching higher than the clouds and the stars, but for some reason that part of me that's missing is too hard to see or find.

Maybe I just have to stop searching for it, maybe it's something that can't be seen with the eyes.
Maybe its something that has to be felt with the heart. Not just half of my heart that I usually feel with, but the whole thing.

The
Whole
Thing...