Anxiety.

I'm stuck in the same place I've been stuck in now for the past 6 months. It's the same routine, 1 day after another. I'm really fucking sick of it. I'm sick of doing the same shit day after day with no new excitement. I feel like I'm stuck in quick sand and I have no escape. Instead of making an effort to escape, I just let it drown me and drag me down more and more. I have no motivation to fight my way out.

Recently I've been having such bad anxiety.
I wake up in the morning and I'm anxious. Before I go to bed I get anxious. When I hear my phone ring I get anxious. When I hear a beep that I have a text message, I get anxious. Walking around in crowded places makes me anxious. Even lying in bed with Dev makes me anxious.

I create these ideas in my head that aren't valid or that aren't true. I create these fucking mind games and voices that can eat my alive. I've never had anxiety before, never in my life. I get nervous so easily now, my heart races so much faster now.

It makes me nervous, anxious and scared.
I feel like recently I've been this scared little girl in this big world.

I need motivation, I need something new.